Sunday, February 14, 2010

First day jitters

It's been a long first day without sugar. I did okay this morning. Went to the gym, had a good breakfast, did a little work, got a shower, went up to the Japanese Garden and saw the great art exhibit up there. Got home about 2:30 and I was really hungry. And I ate, and I ate, and I ate. I felt restless, unsatisfied. I was full, I wasn't hungry, but I couldn't stop eating. I was searching for that feeling, that shut-off valve that I associate with lots of sugar and I just couldn't get there. Finally after I'd eaten a far amount of fat (nuts and cheese), the restlessness got a little better.

But all afternoon I had a hard time sitting still. I'd read for 10 minutes, jump up and do something, turn on a DVD, check email. I was anxious, anxious, anxious. I kept thinking I should get something done, be creative, or get something checked off my very long to do list around the house but I couldn't settle on anything. I couldn't settle down. For a very long time I've used sugar to do that.

My very knowledgeable therapist suggests it will take 3-6 weeks to right my brain chemistry. That's right, my brain. I've doping myself with sugar and that impacts the levels of serotonin and dopamine, the feel-good chemicals. My body is used to sugar providing that hit and today I clearly didn't have much.

I do feel glad that I gave everything sweet away and put the bits and pieces of leftovers in the garbage with the kitty litter. No temptation there. But I sure would have liked to postpone day 1.

5 comments:

Jan Shannon said...

Jill--I know the feeling so well. Nothing satisfies. Congratulations on making it through the day. You are always welcome to call me when you're struggling. It will probably help me, too. Love you.

Connie Hill said...

Hi Jill
I've gone about 3 days and know what you are talking about. Yesterday I "forgot" what I was doing and ate some dessert. But not today. I know it will take time to get through, but I do feel better without the sugar. Good luck and know that you are doing the right thing. I send hugs and energy your direction.
Connie Hill

Scot Kamins said...

Congratulations -- you're on your way!!!!

Yay - JILL!!! Yay - JILL!!! Yay - JILL!!!

I just found a way to have your blog entries show up in my mailbox every day. Keep 'em coming!

-- Scot Kamins

sorella said...

Dearest Jill,

You are a brave, amazing woman, and I say "brava!" to your decision to kick your sugar habit. Please know that you are so supported and loved as you continue your journey.

hugs
Tamara

Bloggadilly said...

Good for you, Jill! You probably know this, but I once was told that eating refined sugar creates a bacteria in your gut that craves more of the white stuff, and that it can take 3 weeks for your body to clear those little pests. I've also heard that eating a clove of garlic in the morning helps? Not sure why!
Anyway, that's so awesome! You're kicking major ass. Yay!
Janet