I got an invitation to go to a dessert party. A dessert party! After my taste buds did the happy dance, I sent a polite "no thanks, can't make it, thanks for thinking of me." Just what I want to do is watch other people eat cake.
I realized after I declined, that this is the start of a whole bunch of awkward possibilities. My family is pie-centered. My sister makes fabulous pie crust and fabulous pie. We used to eat pie for dessert after a potluck supper. Then we moved to salad only and pie, so there'd be more room for pie. Then we skipped the nod to health and just ate two big pieces of pie with ice cream each. I'd take a piece home with me and it was seldom still there the next day. I don't feel I can ask my thinner, non-addicted family members to forego pie, but I don't want to spend time watching them enjoy it while I eat celery or even a sandwich. So I'm either going to miss out on these events, or cope with them in some way.
When I got sober, the issue was wine tastings (I was a professor of French in a former life) or cocktail parties or bridge games with a full bar. I went to AA meetings instead of any of them. And while OA isn't exactly my cup of tea for a lot of reasons, I'm going to have to find some alternative that is socially satisfying.
I'm spending the weekend with some friends and there's a Jaciva cake on the menu for tomorrow night. I love Jaciva cake but I'm prepared. We'll have a good dinner, and I remember wise words from my very thin sister. "It takes most people less than 4 minutes to eat a dessert." All I have to do is hold on for four minutes. That I can do.