Marie Antoinette probably never said this and it has given her a lot of bad press over the centuries but it was a stance I had to take last night. I'm in Minneapolis this weekend at a Women Healing Conference for women in recovery and professionals who work with them. I'm a speaker this afternoon and last night all the speakers went to dinner.
It was quite an experience on several levels. First we went to the Mall of America, the world's biggest. It has an amusement park in the center and it was about a quarter mile from the entrance on the north side to the restaurant. The restaurant was upscale but noisy but we managed to have a lot of good conversation in various group configurations. All 12 of us are in recovery; 11 of them were in treatment at Hazelden, the sponsor of the conference.
The food was excellent and we had choices but it was a bit prescribed so we didn't have to work our way through the menu. Included in our dinners were gargantuan pieces of German chocolate cake. The dinners were huge and lavish before the cake came. Most people left half the food on the plate, but everyone took cake, everyone except me and one woman who is diabetic.
Curiously, I felt nothing watching them eat cake. I was full, satisfied with dinner, and much more interested in getting up from the table and walking off the dinner. The cake looked good at first but then it didn't look so good--too rich, too heavy, and I thought about how it wouldn't do what I wanted it to do--make me less nervous about speaking in front of 275 people to do, so what was the point? I'd already had enough good tastes and I wasn't hungry. Maybe not a big thing but it felt like a victory,