Okay, I've had it. I've been really pleasant about this since my meltdown and comeback 10 days ago but enough is enough. I'm tried of low energy, tired of pain and itching, tired of feeling creepy in my own skin. I so appreciate what those with chronic pain go through and I don't want it.
On Wed, I took half a vicodin, first narcotics to cross my lips in 21 years, other than a post-surgery morphine drip for a few hours when I had my gallbladder removed. In a half-hour I was stoned and the pain went on and it was worse stoned. So I'm not taking any more of that. Other potential drugs have big side effects (like suicidal thoughts. Don't need those.
The pain is not unbearable. It's just very wearing and makes working and reading and doing any of the things I like to do not much fun.
I'm trying hard to be grateful. I don't have it in my mouth or my groin or my internal organs. It isn't life-threatening or going to ruin my vision. But I would very much like to sleep and be able to just be without the constant reminder of a zombie virus in my body.
Guess I'm out of recipes for lemonade. Where is Pollyanna when I need her?