Friday, October 8, 2010

Is one step at a time a half-measure?

I'm getting myself ready to take the plunge. Changing my eating in front of the TV habit. I've already confessed my abuse of low-sugar snack bars (3-4 at a time means I'm looking for a sugar low) and cheetos (hey, they aren't dessert!) to my wonderful counselor Anna. So the first step is to stop buying those things. If they aren't here, I can't eat them and no one I know has ever served me either item--ever, so I'm unlikely to run into them out in the world.

My internal debate centers around whether I can continue to eat my dinner in front of the TV and then not eat again as a step in the right direction. Or whether I need to stop eating in front of the TV period. Nada! Nothing! Sometimes easing my way into changes is helpful. About four months before I gave up sugar and desserts, I gave up ice cream,the worst offender. I consoled myself with candy and cookies and cake and pudding and pie but no ice cream. And then I was ready to just stop.

Now I'm getting ready to confront the restlessness of my evenings and eating a lot more than I need. I'm not going to give up my TV, as some people have suggested. I watch about 2 hours in an evening and that doesn't seem excessive to me. What is excessive is the jumping up and getting something to eat every 20 minutes (if I'm lucky it's only 20 minutes)!

In the AA Big Book, there's a famous line: "Half-measures availed us nothing." And I've been thinking about that. What is a step in the right direction? And what is a half-measure? I guess I'll know if the step takes me down the right path or back down the wrong one!

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