My no-sugar excursion into family Christmas was successful. I was part of the meal planning (we stay pretty simple these days): hearty soups the two evening meals, on my own for one breakfast--I ate a bagel with creamcheese. That was a big treat. Christmas brunch was pancakes and I ate several with a no-sugar jam and no butter. That felt okay. I also ate some scrambled eggs and chicken sausage so I didn't get that carb overload feeling.
There were cookies around and some chocolate and a warm blackberry pie with my favorite kind of ice cream last night. But it wasn't a big deal to just not take any (I didn't even have to say no) and those who ate some were done in a few minutes. I had two bowls of soup and was plenty satisified. None of it seemed worth it to me although I'm sure it would have been delicious.
But I had only to think of what I'd fall back into if I gave myself permission to eat sweets again. I'm not far enough away to trust myself to only eat a little or only eat some once. I don't know if the sugar dependence has the same forever shelf-life as I believe alcohol does so that if I ate some, I'd go back to craving and wanting, but I do know that what has kept me sugar-free since Feb 14 has been my commitment to myself to not eat any. And once I loosen that commitment, I don't know what would happen and I don't think I want to find out.
I'm home. Glad to see my kitties, glad to be alone for a bit. Headed off on a writing retreat tomorrow for the next 9 days. Hurray!