Thursday, February 24, 2011

My new commitment

Yesterday I got home about 4:30. I'd been travelling all day (10 hours of airports and airplanes) and I was both tired and wired. I did the bulk of the unpacking, snuggled Frannie and Nellie, did my best to unclog a kitchen sink with standing water, caught up on email and mail and the life that had been on hold for 8 days.

I wasn't very hungry. I'd snacked on nuts and pretzels and an airport cafe sandwich and lots of sparkling water to stay hydrated. But I knew I needed to eat something and I knew I needed to slow down and for several decades my way to do that has been to eat dinner and then snack in front of the TV with a good Netflix series on. Except...

Except that I'm into my new commitment. On Feb 14, the one-year anniversary of giving up dessert, I committed to breaking the TV/food connection, a long-standing habit of mindless eating. I'd thought about starting on Feb 1, which was just after the first meeting of the Women and Food group and I stated my commitment. But I decided having one food-related "sobriety" date was plenty and of course, that gave me two more weeks to eat and watch. But come Feb 14, I didn't eat and watch and on Feb 15, I didn't either.

Then I went to Nashville and led a 5-day writing retreat and gave a workshop and did some touristing and there was no TV involved at all. So last night was actually the third night I had a chance to step into my commitment. I made myself a simple supper and did not know what to do. I didn't want to eat in the dining room by myself, I couldn't sit in front of the TV, so I ate in front of the computer and kept answering emails.
It wasn't at all satisfying. I didn't pay attention to the food, rather focussed on the emails. I honored my commitment to not eat mindlessly in front of the TV but I still ate mindlessly.

Now I'm facing that same dilemma again. It's curious that I don't mind eating lunch alone at the table and I eat breakfast alone at the table but dinner, that seems too much aloneness. So having the TV for company has been really meaningful and now I don't know what else to do. I'll have to give this some thought.

1 comment:

LC said...

So much "healthy eating" advice doesn't address the practical realities of different individuals' circumstances. I know you will find a creative way to resolve this and keep your commitment . . . AND your new strategy will help others in similar circumstances.