Friday, February 3, 2012

Relaxing needs to impact my schedule?

My main intention this year is to learn to relax. When I saw my therapist last week, she asked me how that was going. Okay, I said. And then she asked, "How is that impacting your schedule?"

I looked at her, more or less dumbfounded. And then I started to laugh. It had never occurred to me that I would have to change my schedule in order to learn to relax. Somehow I thought I was going to find a way to cram relaxing into my already very full schedule.

And after I stopped laughing, I began to get it. That this is at the core of much of what I want to effect in my life. A slower pace, more time for writing and art, reading and meditating. And that means I will have to give up the workaholic life that I say I don't want and can't seem to give up. And my clinging to it is for so many good reasons: I feel needed, I feel connected, I feel proud, I feel less insecure financially. So it's a push/pull and I'm not quite sure how to do this.

1 comment:

Lulu said...

I love this. I so get it! When I wanted to go deeper into yoga for real peace of mind, I did what I thought was totally normal. Got a year-long teaching certification while I was working full time and in grad school for something else. As you can imagine, I ended up with a nicely framed certificate and not very much enlightenment. Thanks for your post!