Just came back from the first family dinner party since I've been on the food plan. I'd checked with the hostess and knew there would be salmon, a quinoa dish, roasted brussel sprouts, and I was making a big mixed green salad with raw veggies. I asked the hostess if she could forego butter for olive oil; no problem!
I'd not eaten much during the day: green smoothie, a bit of oatmeal with fruit and almond milk, so I was hungry when I got there. I passed on the sparkling cider (too much sugar) and just had sparkling water. Then I got a medium piece of salmon and a big helping of salad. But when I helped myself to the quinoa , I discovered it had cheese and then to the brussel sprouts, also with cheese. I had to pass on the baguette and the butter going around with it. I passed on the yummy-looking cookie crust/blueberry/whipped cream dessert. Just me and some salmon and salad (and a few brussel sprouts from the bottom of the bowl free of cheese).
Don't get me wrong. It was very tasty--the salmon just perfect and I'd made a great salad. But I had a few minutes of yearning. Not for the foods themselves, but for the nonchalance of eating whatever I wanted without thinking about ingredients or how much olive oil was in the sprouts or putting the quinoa spoon down after I saw the feta cheese in it. I missed being heedless, thinking only about the enjoyment of my mouth and not the health of my body.
Then I helped with the dishes and headed for home and a cup of tea. My commitment was not shaken but my old yearnings were stirred.