Friday, May 10, 2013

Day 61 What I really want from this food plan

Yesterday I was talking to my spiritual director about all the changes that are happening to me from this new way of eating. I mentioned a number of things: cheerfulness, weight loss, a different kind of steady energy. All things that my coach said would happen have happened. It's a bit like having some of the AA promises come true. You look at the list after a few years of sobriety and realize that all those things are actually at work in your life now.

Don't get me wrong, all this is fabulous. More than I had expected.  I think, I hope, I may just have found a solution to my long-time issues with food. And that brings me to what I really want. I want the food I fix and eat to satisfy me in such a way that I don't think about food again until my body is hungry. I have spent years of my life thinking about food: what I want, what I can't have, what I shouldn't have, what I am eating anyway, what I just ate, what I shouldn't have eaten. Many of you know this drill.

I guess I want to move towards a normal relationship with food, if there is such a thing in our culture. Where other satisfactions are satisfying. Where dissatisfactions don't automatically lead to the kitchen. Where old behaviors fade away. This is what I really want.

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