Sunday, June 16, 2013

Day 98 How is my discomfort with hunger impacting how I eat?

I've never enjoyed being hungry. I know some people really like it. It gives them energy and maybe a sense of control. It's always just made me uncomfortable, which can morph into misery if I have to go too long without eating.

Like many infants in the late 1940s, I was bottle fed and on a 4-hour schedule. That was the prevailing wisdom. I've never understood exactly why, although I suspect it had to do with the same ideas of regimentation that had us sit in school desks all day long and have only the most miniscule of recesses. I've wondered if my discomfort with hunger goes back that far. My small self not understanding why I had to be hungry.

However that may be, I find it hard not to eat something when I'm hungry. And the idea of being on a schedule of 3 meals only or 3 meals plus specific snacks is pretty nerve-wracking. Not sure how to move over this hurdle.


Niki said...

Jill, I am really enjoying reading your writings here.

I, also, find it very uncomfortable when I am hungry. I did a 10 day silent meditation retreat at Spirit Rock in california a few years ago, and the meal times were fixed. There were a few snacks and teas available all day, but the kitchen was closed if it wasn't mealtime. The last meal of the day was much earlier than I normally eat, around 6 pm. I found myself struggling with feeling hungry later in the day, and eating more than I needed while thinking "but I need this! what if I get hungry later?!" Then, during meditation, I caught myself. I was over-eating because I didn't want to face being hungry. So, the next day, I didn't overeat, and observed myself while I felt hungry. And had another realization. It was uncomfortable, but I survived being a little hungry. It wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. After that day, I stopped over-eating at the retreat, and ate slowly and mindfully, till I was full. And if I felt hungry later, I was able to bear with it.

Having the support of the meditation teachers and being on a silent retreat helped immensely.

Wish you all the best on your journey!

Jill Kelly said...

Niki, thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me courage. Jill