Sunday, July 7, 2013

Day 119 Words don't produce results or Walking our talk

If I had a dollar for every weight loss conversation I've had in the last 20 years, I could buy a very expensive car. And while I do believe in the power of words to create our reality, words alone won't do it. Or at least they didn't for me.

AA introduced me to the idea of walking my talk, putting action behind my words. Although it wasn't presented as a form of integrity, it is certainly that. And I began to see that where sobriety was concerned, I had to do more than talk about going to meetings or working the steps or calling my sponsor. I had to actually do those things and not in a half-assed, check-that-off-the-list way. And once I really started to do that and built some continuity around those actions, the promises of the Big Book began to come true.

The integrity doesn't lie in the words, but in the actions that the words imply or describe. And for two decades, I couldn't figure out a way to really start walking towards healthier eating and weight loss. I did take some steps. I dieted a few times, rather half-heartedly, I worked on some of my emotional issues. And a bit more than 3 years ago, I gave up processed sugar and desserts. But I still wasn't willing to go to any lengths, because the "lengths" I could envision were deprivation and misery.

Just as no one ever offered me hope  in the years I was drinking too much, no one offered me a better way of eating. The first doctor I ever saw about my drinking (1976) told me to just drink no more than 2 a day. The first doctor I ever saw about my weight told me to count calories and gave me a maximum number. Neither of those worked.

I now know I had to have the promise of a new freedom and a new happiness before I could take that leap. Now the walking is much easier to do because it's not about how much but what. And I have that happiness.

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