Sunday, December 29, 2013

Day 293 The monkey is attempting to get back on my back

I've been pretty good on my food plan this holiday. The events that I hosted were free of the foods I don't eat. I've not eaten out very much, which both saves money and helps me avoid temptation. When I have eaten out, kind friends have asked me to pick the location (Indian food, Asian food), where I can choose pretty freely.

I fixed the Christmas Eve soup and salad. There was a delicious pear pie and I had a small piece. Some wheat but no dairy although the vanilla ice cream looked pretty fabulous. But oh what a slippery slope that is! Christmas Day I did succumb to a piece of the baked French toast and was saved by a roomful of people. If I'd been alone with that pan of bread soaked in half and half and butter and sugar, I could have done myself some real harm.

But I'm struggling with desires for candy again. Caramels, chocolate bars. And I'm reminded about how cunning, baffling, and powerful addiction is, how irrational, how illogical, how self-destructive. It's good that I'm on retreat. It's a big effort to get to a store (no Plaid Pantry in the next block like there is at home). And when pizza (wheat and cheese) showed up at lunch today, I was able to just say no and eat the chicken vegetable soup and salad and enjoy it. The pizza was beautiful and smelled heavenly but my forays into wheat over Christmas and my body's reaction reminded me that that is just not a good idea. Now if only I could get a negative reaction from sugar.

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