Sunday, January 5, 2014

Day 300 Tasting the food I eat

The other night at dinner here at the retreat, one of the women mentioned that when she's bingeing or sneaking food, she doesn't taste it. She just consumes it. This is not a new idea to me. When I first heard this, it was in an AA meeting and it explained to me why I could remember opening the next bottle of wine or finishing that bottle, but not remember any of the drinking in between.

When we're eating and drinking to get numb, there's little point in experiencing the food or drink. We're only looking for the end result, not the experience itself. I can do that with my to-do list as well. I'll check things off my list (balance the bank statement, make a phone call, send an email) and realize I didn't pay much attention while I was doing those things.

Periodically I remember how much of my life I drank/sleepwalked through (about 20 years) and state that I don't want to do that anymore. But I can see now that not tasting my food, not experiencing my relationships, not walking when I'm walking, all of that is another form of sleepwalking, of not really living this one, precious life.

May I always taste my food!

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