Thursday, March 6, 2014

Day 360 A bit more on doing things differently

The other thing that happened in the coaching decision experience is that I very consciously decided to buy caramel bars and eat them. I did not go into an emotional blackout and come to with three empty wrappers and no knowledge of what I'd been up to. I thought about it before I went to the Plaid Pantry. I thought about how many I would buy. I came home and I ate two.

Did I savor every morsel? No. I'm not cured. But I didn't wolf them down either. I enjoyed them and then I felt safer and I stopped.

Will mindful eating lead me back to abstinence? I don't know. But mindful everything and anything is a step in the right direction. And being mindful, making a mindful decision to take care of myself in that way, didn't induce shame. Was it the healthiest choice? No. But it wasn't a terrible choice either. Small victories.

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