Thursday, April 3, 2014

Stepping out of the default future

I've been rereading some of the materials from a course I took from Dr. Eric Maisel, a long-time teacher of mine, and he talked about the almost inevitable and chronic anxiety of creatives. If we don't start out that way, we end up that way because acting on your creativity, whatever the medium, is anxiety-producing.

Painting and writing, dancing, singing, performing, sculpting--unless you play it incredibly safe, you will be anxious because you won't know if your work is good or going to sell or be well received. Chances are you'll get some yeses and some nos and that will make you anxious too. Creating challenges for yourself and meeting those challenges to the best of your ability is hard work, with no predictable outcome.

My main goal in the money program is to create a new future for myself where painting and writing are much bigger parts of my life, really at the center of it, not on the fringes, and that is making me very anxious. But I don't want the default future: editing, painting now and then, taking an occasional writing retreat. I want to live the rest of my life as a creative, full-time, big time!

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