Friday, August 22, 2014

Accepting an amend

In the 12-step program, Step 9 is about making amends or restitution to people and organizations we have hurt in some way. Last week an old friend sent me an amend. She and I had had a falling out a couple of years ago, a painful misunderstanding in which she needed me to be wrong. I cleaned up my side of it at the time but she couldn't let it go and I chose to break off with her. It was hard to do. We've known each other nearly 50 years, and she was tremendously supportive when I first got sober as she was a year ahead of me in finding AA.

Her path had led her into the law; my path had led me into the arts. Her path had led her into reason and logic; my path, into the emotions and the spiritual. And those differences made our friendship difficult.

A week ago, I dreamed I went to a yoga class and on the next mat was this friend. I was so glad to see her. The next day I thought about sending a note about the dream, my first contact in all this time, but I didn't. And then the amend email came. I thought about my response for several days, then just thanked her for her thoughtfulness and told her about the dream.

I don't know that any more will come of it but something in me eased. I hope something in her eased too.

No comments: