Friday, November 7, 2014

A measure of life changes

Today I finished narrating my memoir for Audible Books. It was an interesting and intense experience (about 13 hours of deeply concentrated work over four days for the 72,000 words) and while I can't call it fun, it was very satisfying.

Today in reading the last 25 pages, I was struck by the changes in my life since I wrote them seven years ago. It's not just the numbers: 18 years sober then, 25 now, 13 years in Portland then, 20 years now. It was more the change in relationships.

My best friend then has moved to Rwanda and we fell away from each other when it became clear she was not going to be here anymore. No animosity, no disagreement, just a change in life focus. Another close friend, whom I had trusted and loved deeply, broke my heart. Both were wonderful (in hindsight) experiences of boundary setting and accepting what is, but seven years ago I wouldn't have imagined either of those relationship disappearing from my life.

And then there's Nellie. She appears several places in the second half of the memoir, my soul sister, my companion. And now she too is no more.  How sure I seemed at the time of the permanence of things. How less sure I am today.

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