Friday, October 9, 2015

Re-living trepidation

On Wednesday, I made a decision to sign up for a radical food plan. I'd done a lot of research on it and what was on offer made sense. My hesitations, I realized, were not about the cost of the program or its rigorous nature but whether I could be willing to change, really change, and stay with it.

In many ways, this parallels, or echoes, my experience in Sept 1989 when I made the decision to go into an alcohol treatment program for 28 days. I had come to the end of my ability to cope with that aspect of my life and I wanted freedom. At the same time, I was terrified of the changes that would be required to attain that freedom. I was stepping off into the unknown.

Now as I prepare to take the same kind of action (giving up sugar and flour and eating on a schedule with a defined plan), I feel the same trepidation. I'm consoled by the all the good things that have come to me in the past 26 years and by the promise of freedom. But I'm still nervous. 

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