Monday, November 23, 2015

Holding the food (and alcohol) conundrum

There are a number of paradoxes that are involved in recovery from any kind of addiction. I learned the first one in the alcohol treatment center in Lynchburg, Virginia, in 1989. That we live our recovery one day at a time, always focussed on today. At the same time, we don't ever drink again. So we must learn to hold this conundrum of only for today and every day from now on. In my early days this angered me. While I appreciated that I had to focus on getting through the day each day, one day at a time seemed like BS. There wasn't ever going to be a tomorrow when I could drink.

In some ways, I find myself with the same conundrum in Bright Line eating. There is a strong focus on staying within the bright lines just for today, not to worry about tomorrow and the long future ahead. Plan your food for the next day, stick with your plan. Plan your food again, stick with the plan. At the same time, I know that I am building habits that can carry me into that long-term future. Because there is no tomorrow when I can safely have a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream. For me as a proven addict, who always ends up right back in the jackpot of weight and bingeing, that isn't going to happen. Moderation with sweet foods is just not going to happen for me.

I still have choices. I can choose the misery again. It's always available. but I sure hope I don't.

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