As I come to the end of the fourth week of Bright Line eating, I'm doing a fair amount of grieving. Just as with my journey in recovery from alcoholism, I'm having to change a lot of tangential things to create a solid program of recovery from sugar and flour addiction.
One long-term side effect of my addiction is what I call the Party in My Mouth. I am addicted to eating lots and lots of things that give me great gustatory pleasure and I have a long list of favorites: ice cream, hot doughnuts, ice cream, clam dip and potato chips, ice cream sandwiches, great chocolate, ice cream sundaes, caramels, ice cream bars, gum drops, pie with ice cream, cake with ice cream, cookies with whipped cream, chips and nacho cheese, pudding with whipped cream, ice cream.
I've known for some time that food has been the primary (and solitary) form of entertainment for me. I recognized that fully two weeks ago on a late Friday afternoon when I had no plans for the evening and a strong desire to go to the store and stock up on the above mentioned party foods. But embracing a plan that calls for lean proteins, fruit, and a crapton of vegetables with no sugar, no flour, and almost nothing processed means that my Tasting Party days are behind me.
Don't get me wrong. Real food tastes very good but it's not the same experience. And grieving those old experiences seems right.