Saturday, February 13, 2016

The courage to be uncomfortable

As I begin the fifth month of Bright Line Eating, many things have settled down and settled in. It doesn't seem weird to eat three meals a day and nothing in-between. This was a hard thing to get used to for a professional, chronic snacker like me. It doesn't seem cumbersome to weigh my food before I eat. I now automatically reach for the scale, which sits on my microwave, and my two pretty plastic bowls and I weigh things and fix my plate.

I've been surprised that not eating after dinner has not been a problem. I used to start eating about 5 with a big snack, then dinner, then just kept eating until I was stuffed or went to bed. Now I have dinner about 6:30 and that's it. Kitchen closed. Amazing!

What has not settled down is the intermittent hunger that I feel as meals approach. And somehow I thought it would. That miraculously the food I eat at meals would keep me satisfied until the next meal five hours later. Well, they don't. Not on a weight-loss program. No matter what I eat. And I've had to accept that being hungry the last hour or two before a meal is normal. It's not some unique aberration of my system. Instead it's what most people feel four or five hours after a meal.

What may be different for me is my relationship with hunger and my relationship with discomfort. I don't like either one. Maybe it's a heightened sensitivty or maybe it's just decades of eating any time I wanted to. But I find that intense hunger disconcerting, annoying, problematic. I'm hoping that relationship, that response will change because I'm not interested in giving up what I've worked so hard for. So I have to find the courage to ride it out, the courage to be uncomfortable for my greater good.

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