Sunday, March 4, 2018

Looking at time and relationships through a new lens

In the Marie Kondo tidying-up philosophy, joy is the determiner. If the object doesn't bring you joy, let it go. However, this seems a lot easier to do with tops and shoes or knick-knacks than it does with relationships, yet I think there is something very important to consider here. As I continue on my quest for increased spaciousness in my lift, discernment around how I'm spending my time is coming to the fore. And that's where relationships and joy comes in.

You may be familiar with creating a relationship circle diagram in which closest relationships go in the inmost circle. Your friends go in the second circle, your acquaintances in the third, and then folks you meet casually go in the fourth. My good friend Sage recently did this but she used the time factor in creating the circles. The inmost circle had the people she spent the most time with and moving out the least time. I liked that idea but it was missing something for me. So here's what I've been contemplating for both time and relationships:

Circle 1 is time well spent. When I spend time in this person's company or on this activity, I always come away satisfied and nourished. 
Circle 2 involves a meaningful experience. AA meetings, some work relationships, occasional friends with whom I share an interest or activity, people I meet at a workshop or retreat.
Circle 3 must involve a compelling reason. My dentist, a meeting with a new client, an opportunity to experience something new or something longed for. Many of the social invitations I receive don't pass this test. I don't feel compelled to partake. I'd rather be in circles 1 or 2. 

The best times are when all 3 circles overlap. I want that to happen more.

How can you identify the best ways to spend your precious time?

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